BBC Sport (International version)
When a young Stella Groschel heard of her friend’s plans to join a marriage bureau in her search for a husband, she was shocked to the core. It was the Forties and, quite simply, respectable girls just didn’t do that sort of thing. I thought it was rather on the dangerous side and something that only really desperate, peculiar people would consider. Since then, however, Stella has learned to see matters from the other side. Now aged 83, she can lay claim to the title of the country’s oldest and most long-standing matchmaker, still dispatching affairs of the heart at the country offices of her own dating agency.
Fraud officers are investigating 30 cases where people looking for partners have been scammed, often pawning jewellery and taking out loans as a result of the elaborate hoaxes. In a typical scam, the fraudster identifies potential victims through a dating site. He then tailors his personality to suit what the victim is looking for, for example a man in the army, and then finds a picture of someone in the military from the internet, which he will use in his profile. Compliments are usually offered and questions asked of the woman so that the fraudster can ascertain how much money the woman has and whether the scam is worth pursuing.
In the vast majority of cases it is women who are the victims, although there has the been the occasional male. The fraudster will aim to take the person offline, to coax them away from the confines of the dating site and continue the relationship via Skype or email. This is an attempt to isolate the victim, he said, and contact will go from a couple of messages a day to constant emailing.
In many cases, the scammer will say he is working abroad and wants to meet the victim. But there will be something stopping him, such as a hospital visit. The convicted fraudster Agbonifoayetan posed as a diplomat called Christopher Williams and used a forged United Nations diplomatic card to collect money from two women who had been persuaded that a marine called General James Krulak in one case and General James Raul in the other wanted to move to the UK and marry them.
Miles says that after coaxing the victims offline, the typical fraudster will ask for money after a couple of weeks, initially for small amounts.
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The truth is though, love isn’t like an algebra equation that can be solved, and joining a dating service isn’t a declaration that you need help because you can’t find love in the ‘real world’. However, what online dating does do brilliantly is open up a whole new arena for those looking to cast their nets a little wider and explore their options. Everyone is looking for their very own version of love and going about finding it their own way; whether that be by locking eyes with a stranger in a local bar, e-flirting over e-mail at work, relying on friends to play cupid, or finding a mate at the click of a mouse.
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As we get older, we still have a need for closeness and companionship. You may have more free time and want to share that time with somebody, or you may miss having physical contact. See our pages on bereavement for more information about coping with loss. Be assured that there are lots of ways you could meet someone. Trying new activities or volunteering is a great way to make friends, learn something different and have fun.
If you aren’t sure what activities are in your area, there are a number of ways you can find this information:. People can then contact you if they are interested in getting in touch. It won’t happen overnight, but keeping active and staying positive will help you to enjoy this time. Online dating is now one of the most common ways to meet a partner and some dating sites are aimed specifically at older people.
There are lots of dating websites to try. Plenty of specialist sites cater to specific interests or backgrounds, such as faith or ethnicity. Most dating websites can be used to find a lesbian, gay, or bisexual partner, but there are also specific LGBT dating sites as well. Some dating websites let you register for free while others may require monthly or yearly fees.